The Beauty and Wonder of Ordinary Life

Photo by Muffet

-For some reason, the link to this April 2011 post is broken, so I'm reposting it.
(I'd also like to recommend at this time, the book and film 'The Magic of Ordinary Days.')

Our Town, a wonderful play by Thornton Wilder, is set in Grover's Corners, New Hampshire at the turn of the 20th century.   I'd only heard of this book in the last year or so and finally took the time to read it.

From Sydney Theatre Company's 'Our Town', 2010

Our Town is a love story about George Gibbs and Emily Webb.  Childhood sweethearts, they grow up next door to each other amidst  common, all-too average daily life. They marry right out of high school and begin their family, both learning to sacrifice for the good of the family. But during the birth of their second baby, Emily dies.

The last act is about her death and what she experiences. She watches her own funeral and burial and sees those she loves.
 From the book:

“Live people don’t understand, do they?” she asks. “I never realized how troubled and how…in the dark live persons are…From morning till night, that’s all they are – troubled.”

Then, even though those who have already died before her try to persuade her not to, she chooses to go back and relive a day of her life- her twelfth birthday.

They tell her it's not a good idea.   Still, she goes.

She steps into her mother’s kitchen, circles the stove and table, watches her mother prepare breakfast. She sees the birthday gift George left on her doorstep early that morning. A post-card album she had forgotten about.

“I can’t bear it. They’re so young and beautiful. Why did they ever have to get old? Mama, I’m here. I’m grown up. I love you all, everything. — I can’t look at everything hard enough…Oh Mama, just look at me one minute as though you really see me…Mama, just for a moment we’re happy. Let’s look at one another.”

Finally, she begins to sob.  Overcome with the grief and beauty of it all – the wonder of her ordinary life.

“I can’t go on. It goes so fast. We don’t have time to look at one another…Take me back – up the hill – to my grave.”

Before leaving, however, she wants another look. Longingly, she says good-bye to clocks ticking, her Mama’s sunflowers, new-ironed dresses, hot baths, sleeping and waking. Then suddenly she throws her arms out wide and cries,

“Oh, earth, you’re too wonderful for anybody to realize you! Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it – ever, every minute?”

“No.” the narrator, replies. “The saints and poets, maybe – they do some.”

Unfortunately, there is so much truth in that 'no'.  

Just yesterday, I looked at The Man of the House....really looked at him.  I noticed the silver creeping into his hair more, the tired lines around his eyes.  

So often, we look at each other but in our busyness, we don't really see.   

My children tell me about exciting moments in their lives- eyes shining, crooked grins forming , hands gesturing wildly.  How many times have I listened half-heartedly, focusing more on tasks I'm working on or worries plaguing me?

How often do I really see the beauty in the daily activities that we sometimes call 'grind'?  

Running a bath for my daughter- only occasionally now as she's likes to do it herself- and hearing her sing to herself; in her own water world that has transformed into whatever her imagination has fantasized.    Then, later, waiting impatiently to blow dry her hair, she arrives in fresh PJs, with her towel wrapped turban-style with only her eyes and nose showing.  She makes me smile.

Cooking dinner and trying to get things done before rushing off for soccer practice; my eleven year old daughter comes up behind me and gives me a hug.  Not just a cursory hug- a real hug.  She smiles, looks into my eyes, knows I'm about to wriggle out of her grasp in order to drain the pasta.   She tells me, "We have a connection, Mom."  I put down the pot, wrap my arms around her and press my forehead to hers.  Yes, we do.

Taking a breather...really trying to relax after cleaning like crazy for a house showing (that was later canceled), my fourteen year old son walks by and just lifts my hand and holds it for a moment.  He smiles at me and encourages me to relax.

Hearing my children chorus much like frogs in the night with their "thank yous" at dinner time.  I sing out a long "You're Welllcome" with a smile on my face.

Taking a morning- really grasping hold of it and claiming it for my own- to stay in bed and snuggle with The Man of the House.  To first absorb the deliciousness of a quiet house (kids not woken yet) and a warm, familiar body.  To feel worries and tensions drain away.  Then to talk softly about life: goals, children, etc.  And, last of all, to put on an old movie and watch it, legs entwined, pillows a wonder of downy softness, the view out the window pale gray and foggy.

Later, the children waking on their own schedule and wondering why the house is so quiet on a school morning; coming up to find bacon and eggs cooking and Mom and Dad full of patience and serenity; waiting for warm hugs.

Even noticing the dog- who spends years of her life anticipating what we may want or need of her, greeting us with the same exuberant joy every. single. time. we arrive home.   She gets ordered off the couch if we need more space or put outdoors if we have company over.  Cheerfully, she complies.  Never does she complain.

Just today, washing up some dishes by hand- those that couldn't fit in the dishwasher- I noticed how therapeutic it can be to immerse your hands in hot, soapy water.  To think or dream while methodically washing the dishes.  

These little things, little moments are the stuff of which a good life is made.  

A few quotes to remember:

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; But by the moments that take our breath away….."

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about Learning to Dance in the Rain."

 

Of course, life is full of difficulties, too.  Children argue, people get grumpy and things go wrong.  But, I think if we make it a habit to really see the loveliness in an ordinary life, not only will we have so many less regrets later, but we'll be able to withstand the difficulties thrown our way with a greater patience and broader outlook.  

Here's to looking for that which is lovely! 

(And I highly recommend reading this play or, even better, watching it in person!)

 

Learn As You 'Go'

Live Extraordinary by Life Manifestos

I'm a big believer in taking advantage of learning moments.... and a captive audience.   My older children joke about the times alone in the car with me, vehicle moving, when I'd bring up sensitive topics to discuss.  Things like body changes and the Birds and the Bees.  They could sit and squirm, but they listened!

Another favorite has been the use of teaching tools for the captive audience in the, ahem, bathroom.
My learn as you 'go' method, you might say.  : )
Through the years, I've posted items of interest,  ideas to memorize and inspire.
My two biggest complaints in renting a home or having a home on the market are these:  painting over or erasing my children's heights off the wall and not being able to hang learning tools in the bathroom.

Every once in a while,  I casually ask my kiddos if they've learned anything from the educational wall art.  At times I've seen eye rolls, or heard flat-out 'no', but mostly I have learned that they do absorb the information.

This afternoon, I overheard my two youngest daughters laughing over the discovery that they both had developed their own songs to the words on the above poster.  This poster being one of my very favorites from Life Manifestos.  I heard one daughter, singing her tune to the words, "Be an intiator, not a criticizer. Be a player, not a spectator."    Then my other daughter, laughing, singing her own tune to, "Make every day an adventure.  Keep your word, no matter the cost."
Hearing this, I asked them if they read it every time they're in the restroom.  They both said yes and then went on to tell me that they and their brother have also been paying focused attention to the Periodic Table of Elements I recently added to the wall.
From posters of the solar system or wonders of the world to famous art prints and quotes, all I can say is-
 It works!

Useful Beauty!

I recently gave into temptation and purchased another of these amazing prints for our home. 

Life Manifestos Education

These inspiring words say:

AN EDUCATION TO MATCH OUR MISSION
A movement is sweeping across the world. Not of protestors raging in streets. But of families loving and learning in consecrated homes.

Of devoted mothers who look into their children’s eyes and see future leaders. Of valiant fathers who thirst for greatness. Of youth who feel a stirring in their souls to renounce conveyor-belt mediocrity.

They hear the call of mission to seek truth, build strong families and communities, spread freedom and prosperity, create beauty, heal society.

Their Allegiance is clear. They will not compromise their virtue. They will not rest while they see need. They unplug from TV and tabloids to immerse themselves in the classics and engage with mentors.

They learn because they are inspired, not required. Compelled to grapple with life’s most important questions. To earn a Leadership Education. To innovate solutions for humanity. To learn more, become more, so they can serve more.

We are this generation of leaders. We will rise to our potential with an education to match our mission. And we will be the change we wish to see in the world.

It inspires ME, and I hope it inspires my family.  It's beautiful to look at and I believe wholeheartedly in William Morris' words;  "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful."

I've fallen in love with these prints and posters- so much that I've signed up to be an affiliate. They can be seen and purchased HERE.
They're also having a presale on their newest idea- a Gratitude Manifesto poster. It's still being perfected with an image, but the inspiring message will be:

 "As I awaken each morning, I give thanks for ten things, people, or experiences in my life, and ponder what my life would be without each.

I take nothing for granted. I marvel at common miracles: the newborn baby, the growing seed, every beat of my heart.

Whenever I feel angry, frustrated, or discouraged, I count my blessings until I feel peace and joy.

When life does not meet my expectations, I thank God for the privilege of growth and find the opportunities that lie hidden within disappointments.

When faced with trials, I remember that, as gold is extracted from ore through fire, it is only through trials that I am purified.

When I see people struggling and in pain, I thank God for my own struggles, which have given me eyes to see and increased my desire and capacity to uplift others. My conscious, persistent gratitude is the catalyst for compassionate service, and the fruit of service is joy. I will be ever mindful of the needs of others, and I will be joyful." 

 Anyone who orders it before March 4th can have it for the sweet price of $10 with free shipping.  The details are HERE.
Content copyright © 2013 by Jessa at Graceful Landing

Great Literature

Little Britches by Ralph Moody.  Another wonderful book chock full of amazing moments and life lessons.  His father was as true a man as ever lived and his quotes alone and should be read again and again.

Here are a few:

“A man's character is like his house. If he tears boards off his house and burns them to keep himself warm and comfortable, his house soon becomes a ruin. If he tells lies to be able to do the things he shouldn't do but wants to, his character will soon become a ruin. A man with a ruined character is a shame on the face of the earth.” 

 “Always remember, Son, the best boss is one who bosses the least.  Whether it’s cattle, or horses, or men; the least government is the best government.”

 “That night while we were milking, he told me it had been a day I should remember.  He said it would be good for me, as I grew older, to know that a man always made his troubles less by going to meet them instead of waiting for them to catch up with him, or trying to run away from them.” 

 “There are only two kinds of men in the this world:  Honest men and dishonest men. There are black men and white men and yellow men and red men, but nothing counts except whether they’re honest men or dishonest men.  Some men work almost entirely with their brains; some almost entirely with their hands; though most of us have to use both.  But we all fall into one of the two classes – honest and dishonest.  Any man who says the world owes him a living is dishonest.  The same God that made you and me made this earth.  And He planned it so that it would yield every single thing that the people on it need.  But He was careful to plan it so that it would only yield up its wealth in exchange for the labor of man.  Any man who tries to share in that wealth without contributing the work of his brain or his hands is dishonest.” 

There are other great books in the Little Britches series- my favorites being 'Man of the Family'  and 'The Home Ranch.'  

Each and every book in this series teaches valuable life lessons mixed with humor and hard work.
I wish every family could read these books!

A Month of Thanks: Literature Style!

I love books.  I love the way they feel, the stories and information that burst forth when you open their covers.    Many a childhood day for me was spent between the pages of a favorite book; hoping Mom wouldn't call me to perform a chore, run errands or mind a younger brother or sister. 
This November, I pay tribute to some of my all time favorites.
 Beloved quotes that have shaped my ideals, filled me with inspiration and, in general, made me a better person.  

The first book may be my all time favorite.  It's hard to decide, but this one book is filled with such beauty, such goodness and sweet humor; everytime I read it , it fills me with a mixture of joy, longing, wholesomeness.... and even tears.  

It's Laddie: A True Blue Story by Gene Stratton-Porter.  (Her real name is Geneva Grace Stratton-Porter- such a lovely name!)   Loosely based on her childhood, this book makes me long to be a part of her family, brought up on an Indiana Farm and raised by remarkable parents.  
I could write on and on about the story, but I think a few of my favorite quotes will better convey how I feel about this book.  There are so many to choose from- but some are too long to post here.  I hope that everyone has the opportunity to read and absorb the beauty of this wonderful book!


"The roads crossing our land were all right, and most of the others near us; and a road is wonderful, if it is taking you to the woods or a creek or meadow; but when it is walking you straight to a stuffy little schoolhouse where you must stand up to see from a window, where a teacher is cross as fire, like Miss Amelia, and where you eternally hear things you can't see, there comes a time about the middle of April when you had quite as soon die as to go to school any longer; and what you learn there doesn't amount to a hill of beans compared with what you can find out for yourself outdoors. Schoolhouses are made wrong. If they must be, they should be built in a woods pasture beside a stream, where you could wade, swim, and be comfortable in summer, and slide and skate in winter. The windows should be cut to the floor, and stand wide open, so the birds and butterflies could pass through. You ought to learn your geography by climbing a hill, walking through a valley, wading creeks, making islands in them, and promontories, capes, and peninsulas along the bank. You should do your arithmetic sitting under trees adding hickory nuts, subtracting walnuts, multiplying butternuts, and dividing hazelnuts. You could use apples for fractions, and tin cups for liquid measure. You could spell everything in sight and this would teach you the words that are really used in the world. Every single one of us could spell incompatibility, but I never heard father, or the judge, or even the Bishop, put it in a speech." 

 "Had I life to live over, I see now where I could do more; but neighbor, believe me, my highest aspiration is to be a clean, thrifty housekeeper, a bountiful cook, a faithful wife, a sympathetic mother. That is life work for any woman, and to be a good woman is the greatest thing on earth.  Never mind about the ladies; if you can honestly say of me, she is a good woman, you have paid me the highest possible tribute."

"If I had made that morning myself I couldn't have done better.  It was sunny, spring air, but it was that cool, spicy kind that keeps you stopping every few minutes to see just how full you can suck your lungs without bursting.  It seemed to wash right through and through and make you all over. The longer you breathed it the clearer your head became, and the better you felt, until you would be possessed to try and see if you really couldn't fly.  I tried that last summer, and knocked myself into jelly.  You'd think once would have been enough, but there I was going down the road with Laddie's pie, and wanting with all my heart to try again. 
 Sometimes I raced, but I was a little afraid the pie would shoot from the shingle and it was like pulling eye teeth to go fast that morning.  I loved the soft warm dust, that was working up on the road.  Spat! Spat!  I brought down my bare feet, already scratched and turning brown, and laughed to myself at the velvety feel of it.  There were puddles yet, where May and I had "dipped and faded" last fall, and it was fun to wade in them.  The roadsides were covered with meadow grass and clover that had slipped through the fence.  On slender green blades, in spot after spot, twinkled the delicate bloom of blue-eyed grass.  Never in all this world was our Big Creek lovelier.  It went slipping, and whispering, and lipping, and lapping over the stones, tugging at the rushes and grasses as it washed their feet; everything beside it was in masses of bloom, a blackbird was gleaming and preening on every stone, as it plumed after its bath.  Oh there's no use to try- it was just Spring when it couldn't possibly be any better."

The Importance of Family Culture

Family.  The very idea of it stirs up memories; playing with my brothers and sisters, being tenderly cared for by my mother, having adventures with my father.   The stories told to us children by our grandparents, aunts, uncles and parents.  Stories of another time in America, different than the era in which we were growing up.

I knew instinctively, that when I was a mother, I would be the caretaker of my children.  I would not pass them off to someone else for their daily needs.   When my oldest two were four and six, they remarked that they wished they could be in daycare like some of their friends.   Their friends also had divorced parents and it seemed neat to my children that they could stay at one parent's house or the other, could go to daycare and have fancy store-bought snacks, could have twice the Christmas presents.    
I tried to explain how lucky they were to have a mother who stayed home with them, to have parents who worked hard to do what we felt was right by them.  It was hard for their little minds to grasp.

Recently, in our home, we've been reading aloud, The Giver by Lois Lowry.  A thought provoking book, it's created some great discussions around the living room.

From Amazon.com Review:

In a world with no poverty, no crime, no sickness and no unemployment, and where every family is happy, 12-year-old Jonas is chosen to be the community's Receiver of Memories. Under the tutelage of the Elders and an old man known as the Giver, he discovers the disturbing truth about his utopian world and struggles against the weight of its hypocrisy. With echoes of Brave New World, in this 1994 Newbery Medal winner, Lowry examines the idea that people might freely choose to give up their humanity in order to create a more stable society. Gradually Jonas learns just how costly this ordered and pain-free society can be, and boldly decides he cannot pay the price.

In the first few chapters, one of my daughters mentioned several times that she thought she would enjoy such a community.  Everything organized, everything in its place, everything controlled and simple.   Her comments led to discussions on individuality and what makes life interesting.  How important free choice is and how throughout history, a person or people cannot be held accountable for their actions unless they had freedom to choose for themselves.  

In relation to this, I read a really great article that I felt I needed to share.  
It's called The Family Culture vs. Pop Culture by Israel Wayne.  You can read it HERE.

Family culture, in my opinion, is so important.  The influence of generations past, when weighed for truth and rightness,  is a precious thing.


  Content copyright © 2012 by Jessa at Graceful Landing

Homeschooling- Banishing Doubts

 I spoke to a long time homeschooling friend last night.  For years our kids were in the same co-op, taking classes together, playing with one another.  She and I taught many hours of lessons, enjoyed the camaraderie of discussions with other homeschooling mothers and, in general, strengthened our resolves through it all.  I look back fondly at the days that seemed to stretch before us, our little children playing in the trees or with stick 'swords' as we spent long afternoons chatting and comparing educational methods.

Life has changed us both in many ways and raising young adults has kept us so busy, we don't see each other very often.  When we get to visit, we fall right back into our great discussions and in talking about our upcoming school year, we both realized that we still have so much in common.  

 We've graduated children and have a sense of accomplishment in the fact that they've successfully made that transition into adulthood.  We both have highschoolers who have opted to take classes at the local public school.  (Which, I might add, feels like such a derailment from everything you believe as a homeschooler the first time you even contemplate such a thing!)

We both have plenty of younger children still in the wings at home and lots of teaching/mentoring still ahead.

And....we're both tired.  

Not just because home education requires quite a lot of vision and energy, but because so many other things in life want to sap that energy!

I've had to re- ponder and pray about what I believe in as far as education goes. 

As I enrolled my son in high school classes for the first time, and stepped into a public school, it felt surreal.   Schools, to me, are their own microcosm and unlike anything I can relate to in real life.  It has always bothered me that parents I talk to feel at times that the schools practically own their children.  This, I think, is more rampant in the elementary years.  From what I've seen, in high school, the kids' choices are more respected.

I'm not against public schools.  I actually don't think there is a perfect system for education and that every parent must carefully choose what's best for their own family.   My biggest reason for homeschooling has always been to instill values and morals and to protect childhood innocence as long as possible.

My decision to allow him to take classes was based, foremost, on the fact that our small school district has caring teachers for the most part- who know their students well, and that the majority of students are really good kids from strong families.   The kids don't get away with much before parents hear and, for the most part, do something about it.

In any case, I know that:

 I still I have strong opinions about family and parental influence being far and above any institution. 

 I believe that God entrusted these children to my husband and I, knowing our imperfections, knowing that by and large we would step up and become better people, better examples because we had the responsibility to teach them well.  No one else on earth cares more about their upbringing than we do.

I believe that no matter where or how children are educated, the responsibility for it rests on the parents.  Until children are mature enough to be handed over that responsibility, parents need to counsel with them, oversee and carefully choose wisely what will benefit each child most.

I believe that having some time to ponder and think and even get bored is more important than having every hour of the day structured in activities.

I believe that service and work and being out in nature are equally as important as book studies.

After pondering what rings true to me at this stage of life and learning, I had to look at why I'm so tired and how to avoid that constant feeling of slight or severe burn-out.  

In reading my own post from a few days ago, I realized that what I had learned not only applied to life trials, but also to my attitude of late about homeschooling.  The Six Destructive Ds of doubt, discouragement, distraction, lack of diligence, disobedience, and disbelief  had taken their toll.
You'd think that after homeschooling for 15 years and graduating two young adults, I'd have gained great confidence in myself and my abilities.   But you see, I've been plagued with self-doubt for so many years, I'd constantly question and tear down my own confidence.  

I can see clearly the pattern of doubting myself, then getting discouraged, becoming unfocused as the weight of responsibility began to seem too great,  and then lacking diligence in following through with a perfectly good plan.  My children began to see my wavering and lack of confidence and it started to lead to a disbelief in the goodness of home education.   A belief I have felt strongly about for many years.
I have prayed much over my educational choices for these precious kids of mine- and many times I've felt deep inspiration that family-based education was best for us.  So how could I possibly begin to doubt?  

From Kevin D. Pearson's talk:
"We get what we focus on consistently. Because there is an opposition in all things, there are forces that erode our faith. Some are the result of Satan’s direct influence. But for others, we have no one but ourselves to blame. These stem from personal tendencies, attitudes, and habits we can learn to change."

I can see clearly that my own tendencies brought the majority of this upon myself.  My own habits, along with discouragement and I began to doubt even the answers I had prayed for and received! 

 Answers received through prayer should not be doubted.  Circumstances can change and new inspiration can come, but I should never have allowed doubt to creep in, leading to the other 5 'Ds' of discouragement, distraction, lack of diligence, disobedience, and disbelief.

When I am striving to do my best in raising and choosing good for my family, I can follow these scriptures and know how to choose wisely:

Moroni 7
  13 But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God......

 15 For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.

 16 For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.

If I receive inspiration and feelings of peace and light around my choices, then I cannot doubt.   Doubt, discouragement and lack of diligence (inactivity) are the antithesis of faith, hope and diligence....the very things upon which families are built!

I know this- and have known this.  For some reason, it has taken until now to really grasp it in this area of my life.  I'm so grateful for the power of this lesson learned and to begin a new school year protected from that horrible plague of 'Ds.' 

 Content copyright © 2012 by Jessa at Graceful Landing

Accountability

"When we deal in generalities,
We shall never succeed.
When we deal in specifics,
We shall rarely have failures.
When performance is measured,
Performance improves.
When performance is measured and reported,
The rate of performance accelerates."
~Thomas S. Monson

While pondering what to post about today, I glanced down at my desk.  In our family, if you leave a paper on the desk, it will most likely get written on.

No matter that it was your travel itinerary or grocery list in the making, your power bill or special drawing- it became fair game when you left it for two or more consecutive days next to the computer keyboard.

It will now be covered in anything from html code to grocery lists, website information to silent insults for the sibling on the computer.

On my desk now is a paper that began as an advertisement written by my youngest.  It originally said, "Come Visit Your Local Pound! We have lots of cats and dogs!" Then a heart drawn around faces of a cat and dog and, at the bottom, the location written like this:(Greage)   
Which is supposed to be (Garage).  

This was from last week.  She made a ton of these and posted them everywhere- much like circus fliers.  I did in fact visit this local 'pound' in our garage.  She had our cats and dogs in various kennels and we all took turns carefully choosing and purchasing one.  

Later, as any good homeschooling mother would do, while cooking dinner I nonchalantly quizzed her on the spelling of several words-one being garage.    

One of these advertisements ended up next to the keyboard.  
One the backside, it now has a list written by another daughter.  A list for me while I was on the phone.  It says this- in her cute, round, junior high penmanship:

Couple of things:

#1- The water's boiling!

#2- Who are you talking to?

#3- Am I making the Tuna Noodles?

then a pretty, squiggly line separating the top from the bottom of the page before it continues:

Answer #1-

Answer #2-

Answer #3-

That is the backside.

On the front again- now written over the top of the local pound flier- is this message, written very, very small:

Dear G, even though you hurt me I still love you!  I think it's time to open up our time capsule.  My note will explain a lot.

Then- from G: I think not.

J.- Too bad Chica, I'm going to open it up right now~  You can either come or you can stay.  I need your answer then I am going 2 get my shoes on.
Then some kind of half message written in a crazed frenzy over everything else: 
 ...or I'll kill you!!!

Nice.

Our desk can tell you a lot about our family.  It's kinda messy but functional.  There are items like cameras and pencil sharpeners, a box of Skittles for spelling bee rewards, bracelets the girls left behind, a broken crayon, a book listing 101 Fun Things To Do With Your Dog , crumbs from some eaten snack, scissors and glitter and glue bottles.    Amazingly, there is rarely a pen or pencil to be found here.  (Where do they end up?  I'd really like to know.)
It's comfy and cozy, I guess.   
And it's fun sometimes to really Look at what's around you.  You can kind of read between the lines and those spaces  tell a lot.



Content copyright © 2012 by Jessa at Graceful Landing

Homeschool Funnies

I just discovered Todd Wilson's homeschooling cartoons.
I may just be the last mom to do so.
I'm so out of the loop.  Sigh.

I did have a great laugh this morning, however!











 

Homeschooling Questions

Every spring it's the same- I begin to question what I'm doing when it comes to home education.

The grass looks greener over at the public or charter school and I'm needing sunshine and a break from schedules.   I begin to question EVERYTHING- from homeschooling to our diet and dinner menus, my mothering abilities, choice of hobbies and even my hairstyle.  

I recognize this annual pattern and know it simply means I need a break and a fresh perspective....maybe even a haircut!

But still; I send out wild texts to my grown children- questioning them on their happiness and adjustment to adult life, fishing for reassurance that the rest of my brood will turn out.

Have I hindered them in any way by being home educated?  

I don't know what I'd do if they told me, "Yes, Mom, I'm hopelessly confused and can't find my niche in society."  I guess I'd just nod my head and tell them, sadly, how sorry I am.

Instead, they say wonderful things to me.  They boost me up and reassure me by saying things like the following:

From my daughter, when asked if she felt her knowledge was lacking in any way due to homeschooling:

"No, not at all Mom!  I feel that I have more, actually, because we learned so much more than what was just in school books- we got to learn whatever we wanted." 

and then:

" (My son-in-law) read your question and laughed, because he thinks I'm really smart and know so much about everything.   Also, we didn't hear and learn all the garbage at school like s*x and cussing, etc., which was awesome.  I could be closer to the church compared to the school kids because I didn't know anything about it.  I could just focus on important things in life and not have those thoughts like other kids.

  I also did a ton more...choir, violin, piano and have visited almost half of the United States.  We had animals and we were camping and boating all the time."

I then reminded her that I know at times, she felt left out of that social world that is public school.  She responded, "Yeah, but that was just for the social stuff like having a locker and all the school things like backpack, desk etc....things like that.  : )"

And from my son:

  "Oh Mom, trust me.  I work with a guy- super intelligent individual.  He is homeschooling his kids on his own initiative.  How impressive, his ideologies are not extremist homeschooling, but more along the lines of why you homeschool; cookie cutter education, creating free learners, deflecting the indoctrination.  I highly respect him, he asks constantly about my education and is also continually impressed with both my innate ability to learn, and my intellect as a whole.

I will homeschool my kids, not because I'm afraid of the current educational system, or of social norms, but because of who I am and how happy I am with myself.  An introspection always reveals how happy I am with who I am.

My many unique attributes that I may truly never have refined - that with time I was able to develop on my own.   The constraints of societal interaction which public school contains, is a waste and detraction of inner finding and true development.  Ironic that I find out real social interaction is entirely subjective and diverse on the outside of the small locales in which I've lived!  

There's no point in totally immersing yourself in group think and social adaptation when you are spending so much of your developmental years wasted on conforming to a temporary standard.  I'm so happy, blessed, and fortunate to have been homeschooled!  I feel a leg up on the standard world every day of my life.  I owe it to you!  I promise!  

And then, later, he wrote:

"The world wants kids to feel the need to participate in "normal life."  It's a hijacking of the inherent need for acceptance.  Although kids need social interaction to build social confidence, it needs to be done on a less mainstream level.  For the mainstream is just that; it demands them to float that 'way'.  Your kids will learn the benefit and safety of individualism while valuing the family.  You don't need  a group to feel socially safe or accepted." 

So you see,  it pays for me to question them.   I feel buoyed up and ready ( after Spring Break!) to carry on in my so very imperfect way.

 

Homeschooling: Choices

We've been involved in home education since 1997.  
That's a really large chunk of my motherhood.

However, it never ceases to amaze me how amateur I feel about it all.  
I see mothers who are sure and focused and that's that. 
I, on the other hand, tend to vacillate.

My ultimate goal as a mother has always been to help my children reach their potential, to find their missions in life and to be happy while also making the world a better place. 
I strive to teach them compassion for others and to help them train their consciences to be ever aware of right and wrong.    (Because in this modern day and age, the line between right and wrong has become ever so gray!)

When making big decisions, it is always done through careful study and prayer.  Always.
So- why do I hesitate, doubt myself and anguish when, on one rainy day, a child says they wish they were in public school?   
As if the kids attending there only have loads of fun.
As if it's a perfect paradise of smiling teachers, spelling games and recess.
As if junior high kids don't have hormones flying about haphazardly causing girls to cry in their rooms at night and boys to come home feeling like losers.  


There is NO perfect solution to the education of my children. 
Every choice has pros and cons.
They weigh heavily on me at times.

But I know this:  Life is short and I want to spend every moment that I can making fun memories with my children.  
I want them to look back and know that our family life was organic, that it was real and meaningful.  
I want them to know how to find answers- through study and through prayer.  
If they have learned how to work, how to serve, how to set goals and meet them, how to love and how to learn- I will be content.


So on those rainy days, when a child is yearning for something different, I will help them catch that vision.  And I will remind myself in the process!



 

Go-Cart

 

We've had a go-cart for many years- ten I think; but it's been pretty much out of commission for the last three.

The Man of the House decided that this spring it would be fixed.

(He had a lot of persuasive help from the kids)

Over the past two days, they've been working on it.  Painting, welding, putting in a different engine...you name it,they fixed it.

They learned a lot, those kids.

While tweaking the throttle the first day, and before the brakes were fully done, the go-cart took off up the road...with my daughter on it.

At first she started laughing, looking back to see her dad and sister running after her.  Then she began pumping the brakes, trying to stop it on her own.

Nothing worked and she was barreling up the road, beginning to panic.

Finally, The Man of the House caught up to her and was able to kill the engine.  

She told him, "Dad, I was just getting ready to let go and say, "Jesus, take the wheel!"  

(Like the Carrie Underwood song)

She laughed and said that song was going through her head and it sounded like a good idea.

The brakes were fixed.

Finally ready to go, each of the kids took turns on it last night and were thrilled to have their go-cart back.

Some a bit annoyed that their bodies had about outgrown it, others happy to be big enough to drive it at last.

I love the looks of trepidation as she tries it out for the first time:

She quickly realized that the brakes work great and the throttle is fully under control.  Not to mention it's now covered in cool-looking flames!

The kids are thinking of the fun they'll have now that it's done.

The Man of the House is thinking of the fun they'll have now that it's done...and how cool it looks. 

As their teacher, I'm thinking of the skills they learned while welding, painting and doing engine work on a school day.

As their mom, I'm just hoping that no injuries will occur.

 

Tumultuous Spring Break

This past week has been interesting.
We relaxed, enjoying our Spring Break.  We took the kids out to eat, did some work on the house and even vegged out in front of the tv. 

Pretty typical stuff.  Nothing major. 

But, also during the week:

Our good friends' teen daughter was in a major 4-wheeler accident.  She's lucky to be alive and has lost a kidney as well as her spleen.    Their family's Spring Break plans were severely deterred and we all felt great worry for her.   Many prayers have been said on her behalf.

Two days after the accident, our local area had a wildfire.   I've seen many on television, but have to say this is the closest one has ever come to me and mine. 

We could see and smell the smoke and even saw an occasional ash.    We waited and watched all afternoon to see if they got it under control before nightfall.
We were told if it spread further, we would have to be evacuated.  
Luckily, the wind died down and it was over 60% contained by bedtime.  
Still, I slept with the phone on my nightstand.

Wildfires in March?  This does not bode well for the drier summer ahead. Yikes!

Tomorrow begins our new school week-back to business around here.
We end this rather tumultuous break feeling rather grateful our home is intact, our children are healthy and safe and ready to return to a schedule.