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Ever feel like you're 'spinning your wheels' and getting nowhere you want to go?
I just realized that's what has been taking place in my life for the past year...hence fewer posts.
I thought I'd be in my own home by now, not renting a furnished house.
90% of our belongings are still taking residence in my mother-in-law's very patient shop and spare bedroom.
On a daily or weekly basis, someone in our household needs something that is still packed away. It constantly leaves us with that feeling that life is still on hold.
We are SO VERY BLESSED:
-To be living in a beautiful house, with very nice furnishings (let's face it, ours are practically shabby by comparison!) - all courtesy of a friend of ours who is trusting enough to let a large family rent it.
It is spacious enough that our daughter and son-in-law and their babies have been able to stay in the bonus room for the past month, while moving here to begin a new job and looking for a place of their own.
Not to mention spacious enough that we can all exist in the main part of the house without tripping over one another.
We've been able to host holiday get-togethers for the extended family and utilize not only the house, but the amazing yard as well.
-That my mother-in-law has graciously allowed us to house our heap of belongings in her space for this long, saving us tons of $ in storage fees.
Truly, we give thanks every day for these blessings.
I chastise myself regularly for not being grateful enough when I begin to have impatient feelings or unhappy thoughts about our temporary living arrangement.
I'm not sure what life lessons we're supposed to be learning here- other than patience, of course- but I hope the lessons will soon be finished so we can move on.
I've come to realize just how important home is to me- my own home.
I've lived in smaller, cramped spaces and larger-than-we-need spaces. Homes in town and in the country, near busy roads or isolated enough that if we heard a car, it was coming to our house.
We've had landlords that would call if the front grass was half an inch too long (seriously!) as well as those who were very relaxed. In every instance, the rentals that were allowed to feel like our 'own' became our favorites. We took our stewardship seriously and always left a house looking better than when we'd moved in. (With the exception of a child's Slurpee stain on a white carpet in Wyoming...which we paid for heavily. Sigh.)
While I prefer to own my home, I've come to appreciate the varied roofs that have covered our heads throughout the years. The houses that have become homes, have seen our children born, watched them grow, have seen them leave. Walls that have marked their heights, still there under coats of new paint. Walls that have enclosed the sweet sleep of little children, family nights, homeschooling days, one-on-one deep discussions and yes, even arguments.
It's no wonder that older homes can take on a distinct feeling, with all the living that's taken place in them!
When it comes down to it, I suppose that is what I'm longing for: To begin making memories in a home that doesn't feel temporary. Family memories are a precious thing!
Yes, I want to have my belongings near me. Several of my children have asked in recent weeks if we could at least go get our family photos and bring them here. They want to see pictures of themselves at various ages. I think they, too, are feeling as if our life is not completely with us right now. Maybe we're too hung up on mementos, I don't know. Certainly there are people who have lost all in fires and other emergencies and have had to move on, realizing that life and memories exist even without 'proof' of them.
Still, I can't deny that we're needing...something. Validation that our memories are what we remember them to be through photos and tangible items. That while living in this beautiful home, which is still untouchable in a way, we can grab hold of what is real and hang on until we're truly settled again.
Maybe that's one of our lessons we're learning- to appreciate any home that becomes ours once we're blessed enough to have it!
Now for some favorite quotes by David O. Mckay to remind me of what I know to be true:
“The greatest work we will ever do will be within the walls of our home.”
“Happiness consists not of having, but of being; not of possessing, but of enjoying. It is a warm glow of the heart at peace with itself. A martyr at the stake may have happiness that a king on his throne might envy. Man is the creator of his own happiness. It is the aroma of life, lived in harmony with high ideals. For what a man has he may be dependent upon others; what he is rests with him alone.”
“The greatest battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of the soul.”
“All good things require effort. That which is worth having will cost part of your physical being, your intellectual power and your soul power. Let us ever keep in mind that life is largely what we make it.”
Content copyright © 2012 by Jessa at Graceful Landing