Family

What can I say?  I'm an incredibly blessed girl.
 I come from good stock- those with solid outlooks on life, great senses of humor, intelligence and love. My family.

Content copyright © 2016 by Jessa at Graceful Landing

The Beauty and Wonder of Ordinary Life

Photo by Muffet

-For some reason, the link to this April 2011 post is broken, so I'm reposting it.
(I'd also like to recommend at this time, the book and film 'The Magic of Ordinary Days.')

Our Town, a wonderful play by Thornton Wilder, is set in Grover's Corners, New Hampshire at the turn of the 20th century.   I'd only heard of this book in the last year or so and finally took the time to read it.

From Sydney Theatre Company's 'Our Town', 2010

Our Town is a love story about George Gibbs and Emily Webb.  Childhood sweethearts, they grow up next door to each other amidst  common, all-too average daily life. They marry right out of high school and begin their family, both learning to sacrifice for the good of the family. But during the birth of their second baby, Emily dies.

The last act is about her death and what she experiences. She watches her own funeral and burial and sees those she loves.
 From the book:

“Live people don’t understand, do they?” she asks. “I never realized how troubled and how…in the dark live persons are…From morning till night, that’s all they are – troubled.”

Then, even though those who have already died before her try to persuade her not to, she chooses to go back and relive a day of her life- her twelfth birthday.

They tell her it's not a good idea.   Still, she goes.

She steps into her mother’s kitchen, circles the stove and table, watches her mother prepare breakfast. She sees the birthday gift George left on her doorstep early that morning. A post-card album she had forgotten about.

“I can’t bear it. They’re so young and beautiful. Why did they ever have to get old? Mama, I’m here. I’m grown up. I love you all, everything. — I can’t look at everything hard enough…Oh Mama, just look at me one minute as though you really see me…Mama, just for a moment we’re happy. Let’s look at one another.”

Finally, she begins to sob.  Overcome with the grief and beauty of it all – the wonder of her ordinary life.

“I can’t go on. It goes so fast. We don’t have time to look at one another…Take me back – up the hill – to my grave.”

Before leaving, however, she wants another look. Longingly, she says good-bye to clocks ticking, her Mama’s sunflowers, new-ironed dresses, hot baths, sleeping and waking. Then suddenly she throws her arms out wide and cries,

“Oh, earth, you’re too wonderful for anybody to realize you! Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it – ever, every minute?”

“No.” the narrator, replies. “The saints and poets, maybe – they do some.”

Unfortunately, there is so much truth in that 'no'.  

Just yesterday, I looked at The Man of the House....really looked at him.  I noticed the silver creeping into his hair more, the tired lines around his eyes.  

So often, we look at each other but in our busyness, we don't really see.   

My children tell me about exciting moments in their lives- eyes shining, crooked grins forming , hands gesturing wildly.  How many times have I listened half-heartedly, focusing more on tasks I'm working on or worries plaguing me?

How often do I really see the beauty in the daily activities that we sometimes call 'grind'?  

Running a bath for my daughter- only occasionally now as she's likes to do it herself- and hearing her sing to herself; in her own water world that has transformed into whatever her imagination has fantasized.    Then, later, waiting impatiently to blow dry her hair, she arrives in fresh PJs, with her towel wrapped turban-style with only her eyes and nose showing.  She makes me smile.

Cooking dinner and trying to get things done before rushing off for soccer practice; my eleven year old daughter comes up behind me and gives me a hug.  Not just a cursory hug- a real hug.  She smiles, looks into my eyes, knows I'm about to wriggle out of her grasp in order to drain the pasta.   She tells me, "We have a connection, Mom."  I put down the pot, wrap my arms around her and press my forehead to hers.  Yes, we do.

Taking a breather...really trying to relax after cleaning like crazy for a house showing (that was later canceled), my fourteen year old son walks by and just lifts my hand and holds it for a moment.  He smiles at me and encourages me to relax.

Hearing my children chorus much like frogs in the night with their "thank yous" at dinner time.  I sing out a long "You're Welllcome" with a smile on my face.

Taking a morning- really grasping hold of it and claiming it for my own- to stay in bed and snuggle with The Man of the House.  To first absorb the deliciousness of a quiet house (kids not woken yet) and a warm, familiar body.  To feel worries and tensions drain away.  Then to talk softly about life: goals, children, etc.  And, last of all, to put on an old movie and watch it, legs entwined, pillows a wonder of downy softness, the view out the window pale gray and foggy.

Later, the children waking on their own schedule and wondering why the house is so quiet on a school morning; coming up to find bacon and eggs cooking and Mom and Dad full of patience and serenity; waiting for warm hugs.

Even noticing the dog- who spends years of her life anticipating what we may want or need of her, greeting us with the same exuberant joy every. single. time. we arrive home.   She gets ordered off the couch if we need more space or put outdoors if we have company over.  Cheerfully, she complies.  Never does she complain.

Just today, washing up some dishes by hand- those that couldn't fit in the dishwasher- I noticed how therapeutic it can be to immerse your hands in hot, soapy water.  To think or dream while methodically washing the dishes.  

These little things, little moments are the stuff of which a good life is made.  

A few quotes to remember:

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; But by the moments that take our breath away….."

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about Learning to Dance in the Rain."

 

Of course, life is full of difficulties, too.  Children argue, people get grumpy and things go wrong.  But, I think if we make it a habit to really see the loveliness in an ordinary life, not only will we have so many less regrets later, but we'll be able to withstand the difficulties thrown our way with a greater patience and broader outlook.  

Here's to looking for that which is lovely! 

(And I highly recommend reading this play or, even better, watching it in person!)

 

Useful Beauty!

I recently gave into temptation and purchased another of these amazing prints for our home. 

Life Manifestos Education

These inspiring words say:

AN EDUCATION TO MATCH OUR MISSION
A movement is sweeping across the world. Not of protestors raging in streets. But of families loving and learning in consecrated homes.

Of devoted mothers who look into their children’s eyes and see future leaders. Of valiant fathers who thirst for greatness. Of youth who feel a stirring in their souls to renounce conveyor-belt mediocrity.

They hear the call of mission to seek truth, build strong families and communities, spread freedom and prosperity, create beauty, heal society.

Their Allegiance is clear. They will not compromise their virtue. They will not rest while they see need. They unplug from TV and tabloids to immerse themselves in the classics and engage with mentors.

They learn because they are inspired, not required. Compelled to grapple with life’s most important questions. To earn a Leadership Education. To innovate solutions for humanity. To learn more, become more, so they can serve more.

We are this generation of leaders. We will rise to our potential with an education to match our mission. And we will be the change we wish to see in the world.

It inspires ME, and I hope it inspires my family.  It's beautiful to look at and I believe wholeheartedly in William Morris' words;  "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful."

I've fallen in love with these prints and posters- so much that I've signed up to be an affiliate. They can be seen and purchased HERE.
They're also having a presale on their newest idea- a Gratitude Manifesto poster. It's still being perfected with an image, but the inspiring message will be:

 "As I awaken each morning, I give thanks for ten things, people, or experiences in my life, and ponder what my life would be without each.

I take nothing for granted. I marvel at common miracles: the newborn baby, the growing seed, every beat of my heart.

Whenever I feel angry, frustrated, or discouraged, I count my blessings until I feel peace and joy.

When life does not meet my expectations, I thank God for the privilege of growth and find the opportunities that lie hidden within disappointments.

When faced with trials, I remember that, as gold is extracted from ore through fire, it is only through trials that I am purified.

When I see people struggling and in pain, I thank God for my own struggles, which have given me eyes to see and increased my desire and capacity to uplift others. My conscious, persistent gratitude is the catalyst for compassionate service, and the fruit of service is joy. I will be ever mindful of the needs of others, and I will be joyful." 

 Anyone who orders it before March 4th can have it for the sweet price of $10 with free shipping.  The details are HERE.
Content copyright © 2013 by Jessa at Graceful Landing

Saying Goodbye

This weekend our family is traveling out of state.
We are traveling to pay our respects to my husband's father; a man who died too young.

It is a strange thing: A living, breathing person passes on.
And his life is now reduced to memories, photographs and things he left behind.
Perhaps more importantly, people he left behind.
His sons and his daughter, his grandchildren, his relatives and friends.
His legacy.

Life is a fleeting thing. All the hopes and dreams of childhood.....





The love and care of your parents and family....











Growing up and discovering your world and who you are....




Creating a family of your own....



Experiencing fun and adventure in life....









Making memories with your loved ones....





Finding your hobbies and talents.....



Making people laugh...

This is a man who had a strong work ethic, a love for the outdoors, and a sense of humor.

And while it's not respectful to speak ill of the deceased, I don't think he'd mind at all to hear me say that he was also ornery, cantankerous and stubborn as all get out.
In fact, I think he'd be pleased.
Maybe it's his southern roots, his own personality (see above) or the people who molded and shaped him through his formative years.....but he was definitely a character.

A few favorite quotes of his:

"It blew my skirt right up over my face."
Translation: I was surprised.

"The buttons are popping off my chest."
Translation: I'm proud of you.

"Come here, Honyock."
Translation: Come here, child/grandchild.

Thank you for my husband. I hope we'll meet again....

Attributes of Mothers

Motherhood. It's not for the faint-of-heart.
No job is more demanding, challenging, or fulfilling!

You never know what each day might bring.

It involves a lot of cuddling, teaching and protecting when neccessary.
(Not to mention nose-wiping, spill cleaning, fight-settling, and bedroom purging)
Or is that just at my house?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/topinambour/124643757/



A lot of feeding, food gathering and preparation.
And hearing children complain about hunger or even the food that was prepared for them.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/chriggy/504929739/



Being in high-demand. At no other time of your life will you feel so very wanted and needed.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ericbegin/2569416200/

"Mom? Are you there Mom? MOM! Where Are You!?"
"....Oh, you're in the bathroom? Sorry. But when you come out, I have a question for you."

*knock, knock* "Mom, I know you're in the shower but I need to know if I can call my friend and have her over today. Also, can I have the last two pieces of bread for toast? And, by the way, the boys aren't turning off the t.v. like you said they should. And I wanted you to know that I finished my book. Can we go to the library today?"




Children reach certain ages where it suddenly seems okay to either talk all-the-time or voice their opinions in a heated manner.
And you stare at them and wonder who they are. And where they came from.

And where your real children might be.http://www.flickr.com/photos/enuwy/2556986390/


As teens they have ravenous appetites and you see them eyeing that last pork chop or piece of chicken. Then you see your husband doing the same....and you quickly grab it and throw it into the fridge as a left over.
Before someone gets hurt.
Funny no one ever does that over the salad....

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cats2007/2534202346/


Motherhood comes in all shapes and sizes, different ideas and talents.

I truly believe each mother receives inspiration for her children.

And I have some thoughts on the strengths and weaknesses of mothers.
I see some of the following characteristics in myself from time to time as well as other mothers I've known throughout the years.


Consider the following:

The Hummingbird.
Cons: Always on the fly, always in a hurry to get everything on her list accomplished. Has a hard time slowing down and 'smelling the roses.' Not always very accessible to her children. May have them over-scheduled.

Pros: Great at multi-tasking, usually very dependable and punctual. Accomplishes a lot!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/fotobydave/1115815564/


The Mother Hen.
Cons: Can be over-protective, too watchful of every move her children make, a micro-manager of the worst kind.

Pros: Can be sweet, generous and always there for her children. Her children are comforted knowing she's so accessible and willing to listen.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrsbalentine/391737067/

The Magpie.
Cons: Can talk too much. Often telling every detail of her life and her children's lives to others. The children have no privacy and even the checker at the grocery store hears the story of their birth or the fact that they have a nail-biting habit or got a 'D' on a test.


Pros: The children grow up in a very verbal atmosphere, learning the art of language from day one.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/stephenliveshere/2334400960/



The Wren.

Cons: This mother is often a martyr. She is so focused on her children and their needs that she doesn't take care of herself or her marriage, for that matter. She often dress shabbily, needs a haircut, and rarely buys anything for herself without feeling guilty. Her children may come to disrespect her and her husband may wonder where his wife disappeared to.

Pros: This mother is truly giving and Christ-like. She sacrifices much for those she loves.
But there must be a balance.http://www.flickr.com/photos/rick_leche/415725072/



The Peacock.
Cons: More and more mothers these days fall into this category or even the next. They are often seen shopping for themselves, getting their hair and nails done, and dropping their children off at daycare in order to have a lunch date with their girlfriends and spend even more time being self-absorbed. They may think of themselves as a 'trophy wife' and can even go so far as to have their children through a surrogate in order to keep their girlish figures. You can find sexy pictures of them on their Facebook or Myspace pages, right next to their family portraits.


Pros: It is important to feel good about yourself.....but tempered with a little modesty and compassion for others.

gari.baldi's photostream http://www.flickr.com/photos/garibaldi/539405776/




The Eagle.
Cons: Sharp-eyed and often sharp-tongued as well. This mother can be very demanding and expect only excellence. She often has her children in a myriad of activities; requiring them to be the best at everything they do. She's known to brag about her children while also giving unwanted advice about other people's children. More often than not, her children feel they can never live up to her expectations.....or they turn out just like her.

Pros: Having a high standard can be a good thing- as long as this mother realizes her children are....children. And lets them have some unstructured fun!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/89544908@N00/sets/72157607102079641/?page=3





The Crow.
Cons: Picks at everything, cannot ever be pleased. This mother is perpetually unhappy with any and all results of her children's efforts.

Pros: ??
http://www.flickr.com/photos/41188800@N00/167510388/



The Biddy Hen.
Cons: A cross between the Magpie, Eagle and Crow. She is a major gossip, critical of others and likes to poke her nose into other people's business. She gives unwanted advice and loves to spread rumors.

Pros: May mellow with age....or get worse!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mbiskoping/2185653256/




The Blue Jay.
Cons: Aggressive in her mothering, this woman can come across as nosy and domineering.
She often feels she knows what is best for other people's children.

Pros: She is often the director and planner of activities for children, a mover and a shaker.
http://www.flickr.com/groups/birdguide/pool/





The Sea Gull.
Cons: This mother can often be a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of gal. Lives a highly unstructured life, allows her children to live the same. This often creates very unruly children- known to be rude to adults and disrespectful of personal property and any authority. There are rarely any boundaries set, anything of importance accomplished. These children may have a hard time living and functioning in 'normal' society.

Pros: The children get plenty of unstructured play time, which is important in their formative years. They tend to be highly creative, flexible people who have no problem thinking 'outside the box.'
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gord99/2660712293/


There you have it.
A few of my observations and ponderings on motherhood.

While I try very hard to be a good mother, I am hopelessly imperfect.

Thank Goodness we aren't graded on a curve, but by our own personal impressions, talents and skills.
And while we may teach our children many important things.....we are, BY FAR, learning so much more.


A few more thoughts, from what I've learned:


Bounce ideas off of your friends, share stories (privately and using familial tact) and learn from others. Women and mothers of the world are the greatest resource out there!
And don't be afraid to see life from different points of view....
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dukespapa/3529563466/


Seek out wise women.
Many mothers whose children have grown are full of wisdom and great advice.
And they have that great gift called hindsight.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/26686573@N00/446586257/in/set-721

But most of all,
Cherish this gift of motherhood.

There are many seasons of life but no other season is so fulfilling, so needed.
No other season brings little voices that call you 'Mama', little hands that slide notes to you under the door, unconditional hugs and kisses, teens that are impressed by your knowledge, children who think your cooking is better than anyone else's.
Eyes that light up with wonder, firsts of every kind to witness, skills to be taught and learned.
Children are truly a gift.


So, be like the Chickadee. Full of good cheer, kindness, and warmth. Bustling around, busy at her work and leading a wonderful life.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ericbegin/2880781232/

Enjoy Motherhood!

New Arrival

Look what just walked into my life.

Okay, maybe meandered, plodded or shuffled are more apt words.
Because this little guy doesn't prance, skip or sashay- that's for sure.


But he does melt your heart into a puddle. Doesn't he?



I mean, just look at those ears! And yes, they feel just like they look.


Don't you just wanna gobble him up?
Or at the very least make him smile? Tell him a joke or stand on your head or something?


Or just stand there and watch him sleep.... Hush, puppy.

I've wanted one of these for about a year and a half. But The Man of the House didn't think it was the time. Life can be busy, you know. And we do have other animals. But, we also have plenty of children to love on them. So we waited until the time felt right.

And it finally did.
Meet Chuck.